Today I want to tell you

My sweet boy
the energy of my life
today I want to tell you
as the mother's day is approaching
making me recollect the events
things that broke me into pieces
things that interfered with my motherhood
how I concealed my emotions
in order to keep you happy
how I hide my tears
in order to keep you smiling
how I maintained my strength
in order to raise you healthy
when people tell me
that I am so strong
its not really the case
your mother rather is
as fragile as the snow flakes
its only your love
that kept me going
Mercy of Allah
showered onto us

My sweet little boy
the energy of my life
today I want to tell you
how much love I have given to you
my sweet pretty  mom
who I loved the most
the love of my life
the oxygen of my body
how I had to push back
her memories from my mind
how I tackled with her grief
that was not really natural
so that I could raise you well
I could keep you warm
I had no other choice
so sorry to my mom
this is how she tackled
whatever grief came underway
so my little boy
you have to be strong
for life doesn't stop
with upsetting events
always keep yourself up
and your energies high

My sweet little boy
today I want to tell you
what you mean to me
and how I feel when you are around
you fill me up with happiness
and replace my sorrows with love
your laughter are as if
someone instilled soul in me
tomorrow you will be big
and carry on your life
your mother's prayers will always there
no matter where you go
when people ask me
what my ambitions are about you
I only want one thing from you
that you be a good human
never hurt someone
who is under a tough time
give them a helping hand
and get your share of prayers

What I thought he was and what he really is....

Special thanks to Manahil (my niece)

How pain makes you a better human- Lesson learnt from a child's behavior

Kareem, who is 1 year and 2 months older than Ebrahiem sees him everyday. Usually, when I drop Ebrahiem at Kareem's house, his first response is a big smile and Ebrahiem loves that and reciprocates that with a big giggle. As Kareem approaches Ebrahiem, he appears to be more loving but that love becomes more and more aggressive. Ebrahiem's natural response is to cry and hold me tightly. Kareem's behavior is also very natural as I have seen the same behavior in my nephew Abdullah. He also tries to love other younger kids but in a very aggressive way. Secondly, if his mother gives some toys to Ebrahiem, Kareem snatches them back and does not want Ebrahiem to play with his toys. 

Two days ago, Kareem hurt his foot and he could barely walk. It was very sad to see him like that. He was also not very active. Today, when I was dropping Ebrahiem there, he started crying because of separation anxiety. I told Ebrahiem that I am going to the university and have to work and told him how important that work was. When I put him down on the floor, Ebrahiem started to cry again with tears. To my surprise, Kareem dragged himself close to Ebrahiem, sat beside him and started giving him his toys with such a love, played the little toy for him and kept calling him: "hiem hiem". I never saw such a brotherly love for Ebrahiem from Kareem. 

We never like pain but perhaps, pains make us a better person today than we were yesterday.... 

This reminds me of the quote:

“The most beautiful people I've known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” 

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross